The Starting Line

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February 5, 2014
Sneakers and Wine
For years people have been coming to me telling me I have to write a book and tell my story.  And for about a year now I have quietly and privately been keeping a journal of the thoughts, realizations, and clarity I have received. I am a single mom, raising four young men, while also trying to balance family, work, friends, health, and fun.  I am finally deciding to attempt to share my journey through a blog  I will call Sneakers and Wine.  As part of my personality, I tend to lean towards extremes and it is only in the past few years I have really learned to balance and center I must allow all things to come and go into my life.  Sneakers and Wine is meant to represent this balance.  In a very direct way, through both I have recovered from repeated tragedies and loss. 

The Sneakers, representing a commitment to health, learning to focus on my own journey, yet be aware of all that surrounds me.  In 2007, shortly following the cesarean birth of my 5th son because of pre eclampsia, I at 28, had a stroke.  My left side was affected and I had a foot drop.  I asked my physical therapist how long it would take for me to walk like a normal person again.  Her response was, “for now, just be happy you’re still alive.”  That response stunned me and drove me to work even harder to heal.  I did strengthening exercises excessively throughout the day, I walked as much as I could and finally after months, I looked ahead, down the street, maybe 50 feet away was a stop sign, I was feeling particularly strong that day and decided to see if I could just run to that stop sign.  From there each week, I ran a little bit further, it truly was baby steps.  Within a year of nearly constant attempts, I was finally able to complete a 5K.  I continued running, at my pace, respectable, but not elite, for joy, for freedom of my mind, and for peace, and on October 12, 2013, I crossed the finish line of the Hartford Marathon with tears of pride and joy and happiness after running the entire 26.2 miles.  I’m not sure yet where my sneakers will take me this year but I cannot wait to find out.

The wine represents the hours  spent with friends in living rooms and front porches, healing my heart, speaking softly to me (and harshly when needed) catching my tears, letting me laugh again when there were days I thought I might never again smile, lighting a candle on the dark nights, and sometimes, just singing and strumming on a guitar with a bottle (or two or three) of Menage Trois on the coffee table with a  warm fire crackling in the fireplace.

 In many ways, the wine also represents a very spiritual piece for me, a piece of myself I left behind, believing it no longer served me, yet I discovered, my faith, did not leave me behind and that candle’s flame, while dimmed to near darkness, never quite extinguished. With a bit of oxygen it is again a bright light leading me through my journey. 

When  I’ve tried just running, I was incomplete.  With just the wine, I grew to feel lazy. But, with a healthy balance of both, I have continued to heal and move forward with strength and resilience.

So with peace and love, I share my journey, Sneakers and Wine.
Bridget



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