Posts

Becoming

-
Image
  I have been doing my best to get in more miles and runs and have two biggish races on my calendar now, a half and full marathon to keep me motivated.  I cannot help but notice lately on my runs how different everything feels.  My ankles tighten up faster, my quads and hamstrings start to burn sooner on the hills, my breathing feels like work some days.  I’ve been incorporating strength training again and focusing on my nutrition more to alleviate these challenges.    “What have I become?” I wondered as I willed myself through my miles the other day.  It’s time, I suppose, that continues to pass and age us all into new challenges.  I don’t like acknowledging this, but I’ve gotten older, my kids are all adults now, starting their lives and trying to figure it all out.  When they get frustrated with the challenges in life, I want to tell them, I’m still figuring it all out too. Just like these runs, some days, it’s challenging.   I’d be l...
1 comment
Read more

Make It Count

-
Image
  My running has been inconsistent at best.  I want to run but sleep or stress or work or weather seems to keep getting in my way.  The other morning my inner voice was finally stronger than my excuses so I tied up my laces and set my watch to outdoor run.  I started not sure how far I would go.  I could easily cut it short and was seriously considering doing so.  But I ran past the first shortcut I could have taken without a lot of thought and my brain immediately kept thinking of all my upcoming short cuts.  As the cold air demanded my attention and breath, I lost track of which way I planned on going and just moved along.  As I questioned points of cutting things short or pushing a little farther today, I kept hearing this small voice that slowly became louder, “make it count.”    In the past week, I learned of not only Dawson from Dawson’s Creek dying but also McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy.  These two TV characters (so close to m...
Post a Comment
Read more

Silence, Snowflakes, Sneakers, and A Few Miles

-
Happy New Year!   I have been wanting to get back to this for a while and I always feel like the first post after a hiatus is the most rough or “bumpy.”   One of the things I love the most about dark early morning runs is the silence – the way I can become so present within myself.  In the winter the silence seems more profound.  The hum of the world seems at rest as I make my way through the streets.  The best part of this is I can hear and connect with the silent whispers from my soul that are drowned out by the noise of life.    I ran the other morning as the storm started.  I literally felt like the world was mine.  It was severely cold so I started out imagining I would cut my run short.  As I got going and the snowflakes kissed my face , the silence somehow felt like a comfortable connection to something so much more. I did not want to let this sense of peace go too soon so I found myself just turning down one more road, then one m...
Post a Comment
Read more

Controlling Chaos

-
  Several weeks ago, driving home from taking my son and his friend skiing for the day, I had a surreal experience that keeps coming to mind.     It was dark and cold and rainy.     Driving in the middle lane of the highway, I saw a car in my passenger side view mirror driving very fast and looked like it was coming towards us. I took my foot off the gas and as the car passed us, just missing the front corner of my jeep, he cut in front of us perpendicularly and proceeded to spin across the highway into the median,     bouncing off the median into the barrier like a ping pong ball while pieces of his car flew all over the place.     All I could think about was I need to get these kids home safe.     I did not want to hit my brakes and get hit from behind or slide on black ice and speeding up     to get past it all, just felt too risky in case the car hit another vehicle that would hit us or if a piece of the bouncing car h...
Post a Comment
Read more

Pause

-
  As I was running the other morning, I was feeling the rush of the week, struggling to get everything finished that needed my attention.     I really did not have time for this run, but I needed it.     Sometimes these miles are the only thing that keeps me moving through the days that get hard, but nonetheless, I was feeling guilty for taking up time in a day for myself that I really didn’t have.     I laughed in my head at what I had just thought.   “This is my day, no one else’s.     Why am I feeling guilty for taking up time and space in my own day?”     I cut my run a little shorter than planned and ran home anyway to see my son off to school.   Later that day I went to yoga.  I had recently realized, if I want to keep running,  that my joints and muscles need yoga like my heart and soul need running,  only to soon discover that my heart and soul also need yoga.  I often think how ironic...
Post a Comment
Read more

Intentive

-
  I found time for the trails this week as we got a taste of Spring, warmer temperatures and some much needed sunshine.     Something about an early morning trail run just refreshes my soul especially in this pseudo spring weather. I was feeling sluggish as I started but pushed myself to get it done.     I love how the trails demand my full presence and take me out of the worries, the pressures, the schedules, the stresses of daily life.     It’s just me and the sound of birds chirping softly and leaves rustling, and my breath.     I love how the trails, no matter how many times I run over them are somehow new and different. It feels so magical and it never takes long for me to just feel free from all that weighs me down.       My time was limited today and I had been feeling the pressure of knowing it would be a rush to return to my responsibilities but I needed this break, this freedom, this fresh air and decided the addition...
Post a Comment
Read more

Shadows

-
  It’s been so cloudy and grey these past couple weeks.     The grey winter days without sunshine have been getting to me.     Some of the only sun I have seen the past few days is the slices of pink sun that peak through clouds at sunrise.       Usually, I look forward to running down this one hill because at the crest is a spot where the sunrise is just breathtaking but the past couple weeks only small slices of sun rewarding my efforts of the uphill climb, the sun, mostly hidden in the shadows of the clouds.       Running in the early morning it is usually still quite dark.  Streetlights mostly light the way but occasionally there are some dim lights that create interesting effects on inanimate objects especially off in the distance.    I see things differently in the shadows of the dark early cloudy mornings and sometimes they cause me to worry about what I might be approaching.  The other...
Post a Comment
Read more