The Right Now
It's taken me a while to transition from the rush of the school year to the rush of summer vacation. The boys are all a little older than last summer and it seems this train is just going way too fast. My computer died a little while back without a recent back up which I'm proud to say I've handled well overall. Aside from trying to do everything on my phone, we are doing ok so far without.
I've welcomed the time to count stars lying down in the backyard with my younger boys.
I've signed up to do a full triathlon at the end of August so I've been adding in some swimming and biking to my week. And the best part is some of it, my boys can join me and without words, our bonds grow stronger. These are moments I am treasuring and soaking in.
Last night a friend of mine whom moved away a few years ago, came home. Our former book group, we lovingly identified as a wine group with a reading problem, gathered at another friends home to spend some brief time catching up and enjoying eachother's company. We sipped wine for hours . Just being together again with a glass of wine and our memories was simply wonderful and it was as if we have not missed a moment together. I thought today as I drove to work with a small headache, from all the memories of course, how different I was just a few years ago.
I know I've grown and crossed many finishlines but going back through our files of memories also showed me a girl I was that I no longer know. That girl, was at times careless and destructive to herself, putting on a great show, but not ever showing how broken I was. Thing is I'm pretty sure each and everyone of those girls knew I was broken and they let me climb out, guiding me gently along the way, but pushing me to earn where I am today instead of giving it to me. It's a pretty awesome feeling to realize what incredible people surround your life.
I spent the day drinking extra water as the girl I am today doesn't drink wine like the girl I was back then and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful my friends loved the old me and love the new me. And I'm even more grateful they still help me check-in with exactly what I give off to the world and who I really am and who I am going to become. Because somewhere, beneath the smiles, the tears, the broken hearts is me. And I love the balance they give to my life, kicking off my sneakers and sipping a glass of wine or two ( or three) can be almost as therapeutic as those long miles and like my miles, I don't want to miss a sip with these girls!
I tend to try to look ten, twenty, thirty steps ahead to try and analyze what will happen next except when I'm training or running. These girls have taught me to focus on the moments in life too. Not just the ones that require my undivided attention but the moments too many of us miss.
Be honest, where are you right now? More specifically, where are your thoughts? Are you fully engaged with the people whom surround you or are you already worried about something that may or may not happen tomorrow? Me? I tend to worry about everything and nothing all at once. Sometimes I devote a lot of energy to what ifs that never actually happen.
I am going to work harder today to be present in my now and trust what is coming without knowing it because as my dear, wise, friend and running buddy, Ann, says, "right now is all we've really got, anyway!"
I've welcomed the time to count stars lying down in the backyard with my younger boys.
I've signed up to do a full triathlon at the end of August so I've been adding in some swimming and biking to my week. And the best part is some of it, my boys can join me and without words, our bonds grow stronger. These are moments I am treasuring and soaking in.
Last night a friend of mine whom moved away a few years ago, came home. Our former book group, we lovingly identified as a wine group with a reading problem, gathered at another friends home to spend some brief time catching up and enjoying eachother's company. We sipped wine for hours . Just being together again with a glass of wine and our memories was simply wonderful and it was as if we have not missed a moment together. I thought today as I drove to work with a small headache, from all the memories of course, how different I was just a few years ago.
I know I've grown and crossed many finishlines but going back through our files of memories also showed me a girl I was that I no longer know. That girl, was at times careless and destructive to herself, putting on a great show, but not ever showing how broken I was. Thing is I'm pretty sure each and everyone of those girls knew I was broken and they let me climb out, guiding me gently along the way, but pushing me to earn where I am today instead of giving it to me. It's a pretty awesome feeling to realize what incredible people surround your life.
I spent the day drinking extra water as the girl I am today doesn't drink wine like the girl I was back then and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful my friends loved the old me and love the new me. And I'm even more grateful they still help me check-in with exactly what I give off to the world and who I really am and who I am going to become. Because somewhere, beneath the smiles, the tears, the broken hearts is me. And I love the balance they give to my life, kicking off my sneakers and sipping a glass of wine or two ( or three) can be almost as therapeutic as those long miles and like my miles, I don't want to miss a sip with these girls!
I tend to try to look ten, twenty, thirty steps ahead to try and analyze what will happen next except when I'm training or running. These girls have taught me to focus on the moments in life too. Not just the ones that require my undivided attention but the moments too many of us miss.
Be honest, where are you right now? More specifically, where are your thoughts? Are you fully engaged with the people whom surround you or are you already worried about something that may or may not happen tomorrow? Me? I tend to worry about everything and nothing all at once. Sometimes I devote a lot of energy to what ifs that never actually happen.
I am going to work harder today to be present in my now and trust what is coming without knowing it because as my dear, wise, friend and running buddy, Ann, says, "right now is all we've really got, anyway!"
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