Intentive

 I found time for the trails this week as we got a taste of Spring, warmer temperatures and some much needed sunshine.  Something about an early morning trail run just refreshes my soul especially in this pseudo spring weather. I was feeling sluggish as I started but pushed myself to get it done.  I love how the trails demand my full presence and take me out of the worries, the pressures, the schedules, the stresses of daily life.  It’s just me and the sound of birds chirping softly and leaves rustling, and my breath.  I love how the trails, no matter how many times I run over them are somehow new and different. It feels so magical and it never takes long for me to just feel free from all that weighs me down.  

 

My time was limited today and I had been feeling the pressure of knowing it would be a rush to return to my responsibilities but I needed this break, this freedom, this fresh air and decided the additional pressure of limited time was worth it today. I decided to use it to challenge myself on a couple climbs that are usually more of a hike than a run.  “Work for the downhill” I would tell myself as I worked to run more than walk up some of the steeper inclines, over riding the urge to give up.  I made it to the top and stopped for just a moment to catch my breath and looking over the trees to the sun sparkling in the lake.  I began my downhill with relief to have the climb behind me.  

 

Despite the dried out ice free trails, they still demand I stay attentive and intentional in my steps.  My legs were tired and the effort required me to continue to intentionally lift my foot with each stride, no lazy feet here.  I began to tell myself repeatedly to a rhythm that matched my breath, “Stay intentive,” my brain combining the words, attentive and intention.  

 

I laughed at myself for a moment as I eventually heard the mistake my brain had made, creating a nonsense word.  And then I thought maybe it’s not such nonsense.   Maybe to be intentional we must be attentive to the moment we are in even if our intention is a goal or objective that is still unrealized and out of sight.  I continued to mull over this idea and worked to find intentiveness in the rest of my day and week.  It really is so similar to running on a trail, you need to be focused on the next step while also looking ahead to know which way the trail goes next.  Only looking ahead, one is likely to trip on an unseen tree root or rock, looking only down at the next step may result in missing a turn to stay on the path of the trail.  

 

I began to wonder how often do I trip in life as I become hyper focused on only looking ahead at my goal, my intention and stop being attentive to all the good of what is right now?  The truth is I trip a lot and probably miss a lot too. Maybe I can work to make this shift to being more attentive to now and keep an eye on the intention of where I want to go and what I want to achieve.  Maybe I can be more intentive in my days and avoid tripping or getting lost in life. Maybe the mistake my brain made was just another gift to remind me to stay present, enjoy the ride, not get so focused on the outcome, and simply direct and guide me to the next best intentive step for me.