Sneakers and Wine

To My Readers,  People, many of you whom read my posts, will often tell me what I’ve written is inspirational, but please know, while I appreciate that to the deepest part of my heart, I do not write to be inspirational.  I write because the truth is I’m way too shy to say out loud to the world, “Wake up, shut up, stop bitching, look up, and look around!  Life is awesome!”  So I quietly and gently use my written words to do so,until just now.... Most of my life, I’ve been told, I’m a great writer.  It’s never been something I  have thought about much.  I’ve never considered myself to have much skill. I never set out to be a good writer.  It’s always been something I just do.  Every single time I post a new post, I get nervous to share my thoughts, I can hear all the critics in my own mind and need to tell them to be quiet.  In my mind when I click publish I always have this mental image of throwing a paper airplane off a c...

I wrote this excerpt last week on Aidan’s 11th birthday, May 30th, and intended to publish it but posting it felt obligatory and my instincts told me to hold off and wait... so slightly belated and from my heart...... Today is Aidan’s 11th birthday.  It is also the sixth year his birthday has come without him physically being present for it.  I didn’t plan a party with all his friends, I didn’t buy him a new toy, and I didn’t bake a cake.  I also did not go to the cemetery on his birthday because birthdays are to celebrate life and joys and I'm unable to separate that from my sadness when I stand at his grave. It’s just a day now to be thankful for the years I did get to do all those things and remember the joy he gave my life.   I will cry today for a little while because, it just hurts some days more than others.  I will imagine the boy he may have been, disheveled bright blonde hair and a smile that was full of hope and love.  ...