Dear Reader.... A Letter To You

To My Readers, 

People, many of you whom read my posts, will often tell me what I’ve written is inspirational, but please know, while I appreciate that to the deepest part of my heart, I do not write to be inspirational.  I write because the truth is I’m way too shy to say out loud to the world, “Wake up, shut up, stop bitching, look up, and look around!  Life is awesome!”  So I quietly and gently use my written words to do so,until just now....

Most of my life, I’ve been told, I’m a great writer.  It’s never been something I  have thought about much.  I’ve never considered myself to have much skill. I never set out to be a good writer.  It’s always been something I just do.  Every single time I post a new post, I get nervous to share my thoughts, I can hear all the critics in my own mind and need to tell them to be quiet.  In my mind when I click publish I always have this mental image of throwing a paper airplane off a cliff and just letting it go and find who it may. Sometimes, I go back and read what I’ve written, and surprise myself. That’s when it is the most fun for me. 

I write for hours sometimes.  My only desire is to paint with words the beauty of this world that inspires me.  I’m always looking around, finding meaning in the ordinary, makes the most simple things magical and extraordinary and I so wish everyone, including myself, could always see the extraordinary in the simplicity.    Often what I write is also cathartic for me as I try to make sense of the insensible.  I’m also aware we all have challenges, different but equal, and I hope that sometimes my words resonate with my readers in a way that shifts our global perspective of seeing what is “wrong” and trying to “fix” it to looking at what is beautiful and being grateful for it.

I also realize that each and everyone of us has our cross to bear in life.  Some may appear heavier than others but I truly believe they have been created equally to the strength of the character whom bears the weight.  I was thinking about this the other day at the gym as we went through what is called a ”clean ladder” in the Crossfit world.  It’s a series of increasingly heavier barbells which you begin with the lightest and work your way through.  I only made it through the first two before failing on the third, I’m not strong enough yet to lift that much.  I watched as many of the other ladies, worked their way through the ladder lifting and bearing much heavier weights easily.  Their more experienced and conditioned bodies were able to bear much heavier weights than mine.    I’ll keep working at it and I will grow stronger, but for now, what I can do, is as much as I can manage.  

I think our challenges in life are like that too.  The challenges, the trials, designed to make us stronger, to forge us, to evolve us, or to crush us are designed for us specific to our conditioning in life to bear the challenge.  But the choice remains ours to make each day.  Will I allow my strength to  grow through this challenge or will I choose to allow the challenge to crush me?    Can I find the good in every single wonderful and horrible situation?  Can I be in a place of gratitude for the moments that challenged me for creating my strength? Can I believe, still, that even though some things are not exactly as I want them that, just maybe there’s a better plan than I can even imagine already working itself out? Can I release the need to f”ix” everything and make it the way I think it should be and just trust that from a broader perspective, what I perceive as all wrong, might just be perfect? Can I choose to stop crying and laugh, enjoying my life as it is? Can I see all I have instead of what is missing or do I spend so much time looking at what is missing that I miss seeing all I already have? Can I look up from my phone/tablet/computer, look around and see the beauty of the sunny days and the rainy and cloudy days? Can I stop complaining and just say thank you? Do I have the courage to grow?

When I do look around, and choose to see the good, the world becomes nearly magical.  But more importantly, I look around and see the people in my life teaching and inspiring me through their journeys and their challenges how to grow stronger.  My inspiration comes from my world, from you.  I am inspired daily by my children, by my siblings, by my parents, by my students, by the patience and intelligence of my colleagues, by the kindness of my friends, by the encouragement of my coaches and peers, by my patients who want nothing more than to stand up, by observing how gracefully the people in my life navigate through challenges. 

Someone recently asked me, “How do you do it?” in reference to raising my children and coping with the challenges of our past.

 I replied, “One day at a time. I screw it up and get it wrong every single day and then I choose to get up and try again to do it a little bit better the next day.”

     ~ BD