Happy New Year

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Yesterday I went for a walk through some trails to sort out my thoughts and reflect on the past year.  The windchill made the temperature feel like 1 degree and it was cold, so I walked quickly. But the stillness and beauty of this place frozen in winter was not lost on me.  The stream, usually moving gently over the rocks and fallen trees, was frozen into a winter stillness.  The thought came to me, that maybe the deep freezes of winter are natures way of telling us to stop and see the power and beauty in stillness in this present moment.  

As I walked I reflected on the past year and caught myself reflecting on the mistakes and the failures. As I caught myself yelling at myself again for the many stupid things I had done and mistakes I had made, I stopped and started focusing on the many things I am so grateful for.  I had decided that this year that the best way for me to grow in 2018 is to leave my past, all of it back in 2017.  I’ve carried the pain far enough and it simply cannot come with me any further.  I mentally packed up each trauma, paused for a moment, forgave myself,  and left it all there on that snowy trail. I want to jump tracks from that path and blaze a new trail and a new life in 2018, only taking with me the blessings.  No more  telling my stories or looking back to see how far I’ve come, just looking forward, with gratitude.  After all once you get far enough up the mountain, it’s time to set your eyes on the apex and that is what I intend to do in 2018 look forward, look up to where I am going, where I am now, not where I have been, and trust the power in the quiet and stillness as I continue to put one foot in front of the other moment by moment. 


I realized, as I walked back towards my car, aside from being unable to feel my toes or nose, that I suddenly felt an excitement for what is to come instead of the fear I generally default to and the bracing myself for the unknown.  I don’t know what is coming but I do believe the pain is behind me now and somehow 2018 will be the most amazing year in probably more ways than I can imagine.  

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