Sneakers and Wine

Sidelines  April 26, 2014 The other day, my coach gave me a high five.   It seems so simple and silly.   I give out high fives all day long to my students, often incorporating in some crossing midline just to insure I’ve utilized each moment of our treatment session. Every high five also comes with a bright smile full of pride and then I know why I do what I do.   But when my coach gave me a high five a few days ago and said he was proud of me, my day shifted.   I could feel myself hold my shoulders proud and just like that I was ready to conquer the world.   As a single mom, I rarely, if ever, get any recognition for anything I do.   Of course my children will throw me an occasional “thanks mom.” But it’s the little things that make all the difference and on that particular day, I needed a high five. I was running the next morning on my own just thinking and I got to thinking about how that high five changed my day, eventually as ...

April 18, 2014 Just Love I was in my basement the other day, pulling out some of the Easter things for my boys.   My eye caught the boxes with Aidan’s name on them.   By some miracle, during Sandy, nothing of his was destroyed, it all stayed dry and wasn’t touched by even a drop of water.   I know those things aren’t him but it sure helps to have them there to touch now and then. For a moment, I just wanted to cry.   I am just so tired of this grief crap sneaking up on me when I’m just trying to get things done.   But there it was, trying to choke me again, except   this time, I drew my breath inward filling my lungs and then exhaled as I felt tears filling my eyes and I just stopped resisting it. A few tears fell from my eyes as I repeated my breath several times, I focused on Aidan, his love, pure love and all the joy he gave so freely.   Eventually that paralyzing moment left and I moved on with what I had initially intended to do when I ...

April 11, 2014 Walls During a workout about a week ago, my coach said to me, “Come on B, it’s time to add some weight and break down those walls.   We are going to do some serious mental work today and break these mental walls. You are so much stronger than you think you are.” I knew I needed to push myself a little farther so I complied and began to climb my walls, increasing the weights, with a spot literally watching my back. But what the coach said that morning has stuck with me all week.   And I got to thinking about   walls.   The rock walls I climbed for fun as a child even though my mother constantly scolded me because wasps and bees had built their nests deep within the cracks I used for footing, causing an earthquake in their universe. The walls I used in my early adult life to block out the world from seeing the ugliness of living with an alcoholic, walls that really only imprisoned me. The walls that seemed too high to climb or get over in my lif...